5.30am Wake up as Iris is grumbling on the monitor. Go through to check and she has kicked off her duvet. Tuck her back in and slip back through to bed.

8.00am Alarm goes off and Angus goes off to make breakfast. I snooze a bit longer.

8.15am Breakfast. Cornflakes, toast, 2 cups of coffee.

8.50am Angus leaves for work. Iris and I start getting ready for a walk. We watch Show Me, Show Me on delay.

10am Bundled up we head out for a walk. Most Wednesdays we join a stroller group for an amble round the mark.

10.30am Arrive at the park. Realise my phone is at home so no piccies. Walk has taken longer than usual as Iris wanted to walk some of it. We get handed our crayons and paper and then we head off to try and spot the fairies that the walk leaders have hidden in the park. Iris screams her head off for the last five minutes of the walk. Fun times.

11.00am Kids are running about mental in the play area. I push Iris and chums on the roundabout, the swings, the roundabout again, have a bounce on the trampoline. Have a coffee and a blether. More swings.

11.45am Leave the park and walk down to the Main Street for a couple of things. The main street is really quite depressing as always.

12.50pm Arrive home. Get lunch made. Cheese toasties with a large dollop of pickle. Mug of tea.

1.30pm – 2.30pm Do some colouring in and make cakes with Iris.

2.35pm Head over the road to my friend Shona’s so Iris can play with Ben.  Have a coffee and one of the cornflake cakes Iris and I made.

4.45pm During a conversation with Shona suddenly worry that I have filed my tax return incorrectly. Rush back home. Find I have done nothing of the sort. Feel a bit sick and foolish.

5pm (ish) Stick The Gruffalo on for Iris and go make a start on dinner

6pm Angus arrives home. We eat dinner together. Ravioli with roasted veg.

7pm -8pm The Witching Hour. Bathing Iris, reading stories, supper, putting Iris to bed.

8.30pm Decide we should try and sew the tape on the curtains we bought weeks ago. Sewing machine is not working so great. We suspect it is the thread pick up spring.

9.30pm Sewing is becoming too frustrating. The blame engine has been started, fingers are being pointed. We give up.

9.45 Watch an episode of The Corner. Have a mug of cocoa.

11pm (ish) Go to bed and read.

Midnight or thereabouts….lights out.

7.50am Hear singing on baby monitor. Look at phone to see what hideous hour it is and am happy to see it’s nearly eight. The old girl really needed a lie in. I have a cold and am feeling a bit rough. Languish in bed for a few extra minutes whilst husband sorts out daughter and breakfast.
8.00am Breakfast. Special K, toast, boiled egg. Nine points. I’m doing Weightwatchers and am now a diet bore .
9.00am Second cup of coffee. Play with Iris. Chat on the phone to my sister and then my mum. Think about getting showered and dressed.
10.00am Husband heads out on an errand. Get Iris dressed and stick some music on for her whilst I get washed. Shower is interrupted by madam nipping in and out of the bathroom to throw things at my feet. Get dressed and put on my new bargain £2.99 sandshoes from Marks and Spencer.

11.00am Out in the garden deadheading the roses. Minor altercation with husband on phone when he tells me he is going to be late. He is always late. After 15 years it is no longer endearing. Savagely cut roses. Snip snip.
11.45am Back in the house. Iris watches an old Show Me Show Me and I make some soup for lunch.

Butternut Squash, Red Pepper and soft cheese (adapted from this Weightwatchers recipe)

Bring about a 1.5l of vegetable stock to the boil.
Peel , dessed and chop one large butternut squash.
Deseed and chop two large red peppers.
Add vegetables to stock and simmer until the veg is starting to soften.
Blitz with hand blender and then add approx 100g medium fat soft cheese. Blend again.
Season to taste. I usually add a teaspoon or two of chilli flakes at this point then heat through and serve.
Enough for four large bowls at a mere 1 point per portion. Stretch it out to six bowls and it goes down to 0 points per portion. Huzzah.

12.30pm Lunch. Don’t think my points will support more bread so I have Ryvita. I have so many slices that I could have had a sandwich.
13.00pm Husband pops by on way back from errands to use facilities. He tells me I look and smell lovely. Swoon a little in spite of myself. Yeah, he’s still got it. Then he’s off again to drop his sister back in town. Iris waves to him from the window and I notice she has a welly on one foot and a pink shoe on the other foot.
13.30pm Back out in the garden with Iris. Husband arrives home and has his lunch. He sticks his head out the window to tell me he has to go back out at three. Eventually driven out of garden by rain and into house. Lacklustre attempt at housework. Read some books with Iris.
15.30pm We’re in the car on our way to the Merchant City when husband’s phone rings. His sister is calling to remind him to bring the travel cot. We turn the car back around to go get it.
16.00pm Arrive in the Merchant City. Car is loaded up with luggage which we have to take through to Edinburgh.
17.15pm In Edinburgh. Luggage dropped off, a blind put up, cup of tea poured in a handbag, dinner eaten. Two tantrums later and we’re back in the car and heading home.
19.45pm Arrive home. Decide to skip bathtime and proceed straight to milk and stories.

20.15pm Toddler asleep so we put our feet up and stick LA Noire on. We seem to be whipping quite quickly through it. Looks amazing but the investigations are over too quickly. There is limited bickering about his lack of interview skills and my terrible driving.

21.00pm Husband has a small nip. I am tempted to have one for medicinal purposes but I catch a whiff and memories of teenage hangovers come flooding back. Opt for two paracetamol and a Rooibos citrus tea. My throat is very sore.
22.15 Both falling asleep on the couch so call it a night.

8am (ish). Wake up. Have the briefest of discussions about a weird dream with AB before he slopes off to the living room as he has to work. Contemplate getting out of bed but instead reach for a book. Lie in state for another two and a half hours.

10.30am. Get out of bed as I can smell AB frying eggs in the kitchen. Laze on couch with my fried egg roll and cup of tea. It’s piddling down outside. AB informs me it is the perfect gaming day. He’s right. I spend the next two hours playing Fallout 3 while he labours over his laptop next to me.

12.30pm. Decide I better go get washed. Emerge from a long shower smelling considerably sweeter but strangely sleepy. It’s still raining so get on with some tidying, ironing and general pottering about.

1.30pm. Tummy is rumbling again but the cupboards are fairly bare. Plump for beans on toast for lunch. It fills a considerable hole. Bother Charlie for a while. He plays along for a bit before curling up on the couch.

3.15pm (ish) Bring my crafting tray through to the living room and flick through the channels for something to watch. Most pleased when I see The Vikings has just started. Make some bracelets and chortle at film.

5.30pm. The rain has stopped and AB has finished working so we decide to go out for a walk. Ramble through the park, up through Park Circus and down to woodlands Road so AB can look at the purty cars in the window of the garage. Hoof it back along Sauchiehall Street.

6.30pm. Returning from our walk we decide foraging in the cupboards when we get home is too much hard work and nip into Kokuryo for dinner. I have mackerel (oily fish=good) but can’t help staring at what appears to be a basin full of chilli and seafood in front of AB. See people walking by outside with Twisters. Nip along to Tesco after eating where we buy Twister lollies for pudding.

8.30pm. Finish reading House of Leaves and start reading The Tenderness of Wolves. Distracted from book by Britain’s Got Talent.

10.00pm. Despite my long lie-in, I’m starting to fall asleep on the couch.

10.45pm. Wake up. AB is watching Red Dragon. An argument about whether we have already watched this begins.

11.20pm. Wake up. AB has fallen asleep. Charlie is snoring loudly.

11.45pm. Time for sleepytime Mr Bubbles.